“Speak up, speak out, get in the way. Get in good trouble, necessary trouble, and help redeem the soul of America.”
–John Lewis, Civil rights activist and US Representative
But how? Especially since our nervous systems are designed with automatic safety features to fawn (make nice), freeze, flee or fight when we feel threatened. Biology is an obstacle to our taking courageous action. But as we’ve explored in my recent posts about the Emotional Challenge Zones, we can develop our capacity for constructive conflict and take impactful action on behalf of our values.
Writer and Professional Troublemaker, Luvvie Ajayi Jones offers inspiration and guidance for us in her 2017 TED talk, Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable. She shares her process for facing fear and speaking out for justice. In a recent interview, Luvvie orients us to our personal impact, “Don’t even worry about changing the world. That’s big. That’s too abstract. Can you make a difference in the room you’re in? Can you be a disruptor for good?”
What matters enough to you to take a stand? It doesn’t have to be dramatic. You can speak up with firm kindness during a private conversation with a friend, co-worker or neighbor. If you’re caught off guard in the moment, collect your thoughts and bring the subject up again later. You might reintroduce the topic with, “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation last week and want to reconnect with you about it.”
Fear will activate our imaginations with catastrophic possibilities, urging us to stay quiet. But usually, these outcomes are unlikely, and we overlook the positive possibilities of our stepping forward. For example, last month, my imagination went through plenty of upsetting scenarios as I prepared to send out My True Heart blog post. But I anchored myself in the integrity and relief I knew I would—and did—feel after sending it, and I soaked up the outpouring of care and support so many of you sent my way. Thank you!
Luvvie encourages us to speak up and be the first domino—starting the cascading domino effect. Courage is contagious. Let’s impact the rooms we are in. And remember that it’s also crucial to be the second domino. If someone speaks a truth that resonates, step up by their side to second what they’ve said. Help hold the bold stance. But note, this needs to be public. Privately encouraging someone after they’ve been brave isn’t helpful. Building on disability rights advocate, Rebecca Cokley urging that we spend our privilege, Luvvie prompts herself and us, “For those of us not in immediate danger of losing our livelihoods, our lives, our ability to move through the world, this is the moment we need to step up.”
Let’s step forward together, as we take a deep breath, find our center and stand up for what we believe in.
