We are born fragile and resilient, biologically designed to heal when broken. Our bodies know what we need to mend—it’s instinctive.

A touching example of this is Kyrie and Brielle. These twins, born in 1995, were two pounds each when they arrived twelve weeks early. As was protocol at that time, they were placed into separate incubators to prevent infection. Kyrie stabilized, but after 3 weeks, Brielle was in crisis. Struggling to breathe, her tiny heart pounded rapidly, and her skin began turning blueish- grey. Seeing she wouldn’t make it, having exhausted all other standard interventions, the nurse and her parents decided to put the twins into the same incubator, which had never been done before in the US.

Brielle immediately nuzzled against Kyrie, who curled her tiny arm around her sister. Instantly, Brielle’s oxygen, heart rate and temperature stabilized. Breathing beside each other, feeling each other’s skin and heartbeats, co-regulated their nervous systems and saved Brielle’s life. After their example, co-bedding premature twins became standard practice across the world and “kangaroo care,” skin-to-skin snuggling of preemies by their parents, has been adopted widely.

Whatever age we are now, we’re really all big babies—and I mean this in the most loving way you can imagine. Each of our nervous systems long for the same experiences that comfort newborns. We crave connection with others, humming, rocking, swaying, singing, tender touch, pleasant smells, soft fabrics. Your logical mind might push this away, feeling much too old or serious for such childish things, but your body knows it’s designed to be soothed regularly. It’s crucial, especially in times like these, to find regular ways to settle our nervous systems to restore our health: wearing our softest t-shirt, being with people we feel safe with, sipping a cup of warm aromatic tea or humming a favorite tune. When we listen to our sensory longings, we can rediscover our nature of being resilient by design.